A question I hear from most clients is, “How do I sustain behavior change?” The problem we all face is the belief that awareness alone is enough for change.
When I found an area in my life to improve, I’d read a book and then another and maybe one more for clarity. I’d reflect, but only briefly. I was ready for the change to happen but had no patience whatsoever. I never integrated the change from the first book and couldn’t even remember what I read in it by the time I got to the third.
I believed that awareness of what I wanted and taking some actions were enough to transform me into the person I wanted to reclaim health or get the next job promotion. Unfortunately, awareness itself is not enough.
Sustainable Behavior Change
Darren Hardy, a high-performance coach, says that having goals is great. We should all have them. However, we also need to consider what type of person we need to become. Consider a person bingeing on food to console them after a hard day, but they also want to lose 20 pounds. Can that person achieve that goal in this current state of thinking and behavior? Probably not. We need to understand the behavior further for this person to lose 20 pounds.
Behaviors and actions we take are a result of years of conditioning and practice. We do things to protect ourselves, to feel comfortable, and to cope with the world. Nearly 95% of them happen unconsciously. Read that again. That means that we are only making 5% of our choices consciously. The first time I read that, I was shocked. I thought that all my mental processing and deliberating was needed to be successful in anything. How do we become more conscious?
Embodiment is the Key to Sustain Behavior Change
We tap into the intelligence of our bodies. Maybe you felt your chest get tight or your face get hot when someone was crossing a boundary with you? I have personally felt my head begin to throb when things are not going as quickly as I think they should. Problem after problem arises, and I have so many things I want to get done. My body tells me something in the moment: relax, you have time, complete this task and move to the next. To hear the messages sent from your body, you must be present or conscious.
You must be conscious to tap into the unconscious.
The Unconscious Mind-The Epicenter to Our Behaviors
Our unconscious minds hold implicit memories, memories that we can’t directly recall. We collect them over the years, storing their effects in the body. When triggered by an event, the body sends a message through a sensation. To receive it, we need to be conscious and consider what and why the body sent it. Why is this important to change behavior?
Knowing that we spend 95% of our time making choices and behaving through habit and conditioning in subconscious minds, we need to get into that space to create the new behavior. How would we do that? We must start becoming aware of physical sensations and what they might be telling us. Does this mean you have to spend hours on a yoga mat meditating? Thankfully, that answer is no.
Somatic Awareness
The word somatic comes from the Greek word soma which means body. We want to create body awareness. Cultivating somatic awareness begins with learning to listen to and live inside the body. We become more mindful of the body. Many of the messages we receive are subtle and easy to ignore. Likewise, years of conditioned responses cause us to push through emotions, and the result is that we are deaf to the physical sensation that goes along with emotions.
As we become more aware, we can make new choices. We take unique and more effective actions and create different behaviors in response to emotional triggers. Think about that hard day at work again and the use of food to cope. Being somatically aware, the person notices that the body feels hotter and the stomach feels constricted. Now, the person can make a new choice that serves them and their goals. Perhaps it is release writing, dancing, or calling a friend.
Somatic awareness is incredibly empowering. Yet, the years of conditioning make it challenging to take the new action and sustain behavior change. Resistance pops up, and we want to fall back into our old behaviors. They’re comfortable and known. Awareness is only the beginning, but it is the absolute must, first step.
Somatic Practices Solidify Behavior Change
Master coach Alexi Panos says we are what we practice, and we are always practicing something. You must ask yourself if what you are practicing aligns with your values and the goals you want to achieve. Somatic practices are activities that help you retrain your nervous system to sustain behavior change. We begin to look at the body as a source of intelligence to transform into the person necessary to achieve the goals we set.
A somatic opening is when the old self fades and the new self blossoms. Since our goal is to change a behavior to improve some area of our lives, we want to move into the somatic opening, but we first have to retrain the nervous system to open and tolerate this new person we want to become.
Throughout our lives, we have trained our nervous system. Sometimes the training serves us and other times it doesn’t. We must soften our hold habits. Consequently, we need to use practices known to move energy out of the body to calm and renew the nervous system.
These practices don’t take a lot of time. They do, however, require consistency. You want to practice them daily in non-stressful circumstances so that your body knows how to respond when you are triggered. Unfortunately, we don’t rise to the “challenge” or “event.” We rise to the level of skill we built through practice. I listed some simple methods for you to try out below in the table. These practices are adapted from Elementum Coaching Institute.
Sustainable Change at Last
Now, you can transform into someone who embodies the habits and behaviors in alignment with your goals and values. You are now aware of the message your body is sending you, and you can move the energy up and out of the body to make the choice that serves you. You can do this. Getting to know yourself deeply and intimately will be the best time investment you will ever make. Start simple. Take 15 mins a day to tune into yourself in a quiet spot and practice one somatic technique a day. You will find in just a few weeks that your body will feel less tense and more spacious.
I would love to work with you!
Somatic awareness and practices have changed my life. I transformed from constant overwhelm to peace and deliberate action in alignment with my values. Let me help you from wasting another day feeling stuck and unable to change. You can do this, and I can help you.
Apply here to work with me. https://nikkidrobny.com/application
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